Man Who Hated on Strive This Whole Time Still Buying it

Alexandria, VA – After a year of endlessly hating on Guilty Gear Strive on social media, local man Jakob Graves is still buying the game on launch anyways.

“This isn’t real Guilty Gear,” said Graves, who preordered the Ultimate edition of the game in order to play it early. “This is clearly another watered-down new school fighting game for babies. How many times do I have to say it?”

Over the past year Graves has been outspoken about his problems with the game, criticizing the movement, the roster, the UI, the damage, the combos, the knockdowns, the anti-airs, the walls, the gatlings, the fonts, the soundtrack, and even the lobby system.

“For some reason everyone doesn’t seem to understand that this trash game is going to kill the series,” Graves added while downloading the game. “So the only way left to get my point across is to jump into some online ranked matches and show everyone how stupid this game really is.”

At press time Graves had just ranked down to floor 6 and then his game froze.

Photo Credit: Oleg Magni