Lancaster, PA – Hitbox controllers have been a controversial topic in the fighting game community for some time now. With Hitbox Arcade’s newest optimal controller in development, the discussion on whether or not these overly efficient devices should be allowed has been reignited. While the fighting game community at large is split on this issue, Amish members of the community unanimously support a ban on all Hitbox products.
“We need to abstain from Hitbox controllers if we intend to stay true to ourselves and God,” said Amish fighting game player Abraham Bakker. “Devices like these are poisonous to our character and halt our spiritual growth. Not only are they harmful to the soul, but they also make it way too easy to perform an Electric Wind God Fist. They’re clearly unfair and need to be banned immediately.”
“I know a lot of people are arguing that we can’t ban Hitboxes because we would have to ban pads too,” added Bakker, “But I say then ban pads too. After all, everyone should be playing on arcade stick anyways, just like God intended.”
“Playing on Hitbox only leads to a sad life of over dependency on modern technology,” explained Tobiah Jansen, who chooses to churn butter the old fashioned way. “Once you become dependent on modern conveniences you’ll soon forget important skills like how to play on arcade stick, build your own barn, or sell artisanal quilts. Be honest with yourselves, are you really playing on Hitbox or is it playing on you?”
While the fighting game community at large still remains on the fence over these controversial controllers, the Amish community has already banned all Hitbox products from their upcoming Super Street Fighter II Turbo tournaments.