Pittsburgh, PA – Last month Dragon Ball FighterZ received a new patch featuring balance changes and the latest DLC fighter, Master Roshi. While many fans have adapted to this new update, others are not happy with the current state of the game like local man Marcel Pratt who, despite another long string of crushing losses, remains confident that he would destroy everyone whenever the next patch arrives.
“It’s over for you frauds next patch,” declared Pratt earlier today, echoing similar remarks he made during every prior version of the game. “Once they fix all this nonsense in the current patch, then you’ll actually have to learn fighting game fundamentals like patience and adaptation. That’s when nobody will stand a chance against me.”
“A lot of people think they’re pretty good now that they’ve nerfed my characters and buffed all of the brain-dead ones again,” added Pratt who has maintained this attitude since the game’s launch. “If anything, a recent win over me just proves how terrible the current version is. When solid play is punished this heavily, then the loser of a match is more like the real winner if you think about it.”
“So to anyone who thinks they’re good just because they’ve won a couple games lately, I’ve got a message for you: see me next patch,” said Pratt to conclude his rant. “Soon a lot of you are going to have to realize that you aren’t nearly as good as you think you are.”