Melee Players Upset About Timeouts

Vancouver, Canada – Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee players gathered today to express a displeasure with the fairly common parenting technique known as timeouts.

“Sitting through a timeout is torture,” said one player. “Just last week I got in trouble and had to sit in the corner for 9 whole minutes. And the entire time I couldn’t do anything but just sit there. No one should have to endure that.”

“I hate timeouts,” said another Melee player. “They’re ineffective and outdated. Anyone who still uses them as punishment is barbaric if you ask me.”

The Melee community as a whole seems to be united against the timeouts technique. But now they’re getting ready to take action. Currently, the players are trying to end timeouts by banning parents.